The relentless barrage of materialism and superficial boosterism multiplied by easy access to distraction on TV, laptop, cellphone and popular media has shifted attention from self to a world of make-believe. Adventure is just a "click away". Imagination, planning, motivating, moving, building, exploring and celebrating mastery that comes with physical adventure is rare. Parents feel safe and responsible when children are engaged in digital delusion. We behave like neurotic wrecks when our children embark on adventures beyond our sight and helicopter supervision.
Perhaps we should be very afraid when we feel safe and delighted when we feel anxious? The rhythms and reinforcement of low tech life and extended family and community have succumbed to 24/7 light, entertainment, sole activity, digital communication, fast food and convenience. Young people are tossed into this gadget and chemical infested slush without the wisdom to use it skillfully and recognise the limits. Some thoughts as a struggling parent:
1. Educate yourself on the benefits of physical, emotional and cognitive discipline
2. Begin exploratory conversations in the family to question the choices we make
3. Cool things down an hour before bed where games, talking and reading are the only choices
4. Be strict on wake up time, preferably around dawn, and encourage early activity
5. Remove cellphones, TV and laptop from bedroom and punish violations with withdrawal
6. Make electronic entertainment a reward for good effort at school and completion of physical activity
7. Fast-food, sweets, boxed cereals and biscuits can be replaced with fruit, nuts and veggies
8. Every week have at least one family walk, swim, bike or adventure
9. Kick the children out of the house or car and let them wander and adventure a bit
10. When you do celebrate do so abundantly and without guilt
If this shocks you - GOOD! There is magic in modern life and our children will master and use it to build meaningful lives and take care of a battered earth. There is no need for martial law in the home. However, as they develop they are vulnerable - and perhaps more from consumerism than from the risk of unsupervised adventure. Parenting from Love we may need to reflect on what we are saying "yes" to and what we are saying "no" to. Some small adjustments can have surprising rewards.
We have a lot to learn and we would be delighted to hear some of your perspectives and questions.